Writer, baker, physio? What to do next . . .

I couldn’t play in the Chelsea v Ipswich Town FA Cup game the weekend before last because I was injured. So I went to Stamford Bridge as a fan with my former Fulham teammate, Sylvain Legwinski who, like me, went on to be “ un garçon de tracteur” at Ipswich as he would call it. Sylvain’s in his mid-thirties and packed in playing at the end of last season, which means he’s now facing the decision footballers dread: what on earth to do with the rest of your life?

In the past it was easy. There was no way you could afford to hang up your boots and do nothing, so you would either run a pub or buy a sports shop (in Germany it tended to be a newsagents – don’t ask me why). But times have changed since then and with wages so much higher the very top players don’t need to run pubs any more. They can just sit in one all day instead.

However, despite the public perception, it really is only the minority who don’t need to work after they finish playing. Don’t forget, more than three quarters of the professional clubs in this country are not in the Premier League and, given that the average player gets away with about eight seasons, that’s not a lot of time to save for the rest of your life.

The obvious routes are coaching or the media. But, as Sylvain will tell you, getting into either is a lot, lot harder than you’d think. For starters they are the sexy jobs that everyone wants and there quite simply aren’t that many of them in relation to the number of ex-players out there. Of course other aspects of the game can provide work. Gary Lewin was an ex-player and is now the England physio. Simon Morgan ran Fulham’s community department and now does something similar for the Premier League. And then you’ve got Alan Comfort, formerly of Leyton Orient and Middlesbrough. He is club chaplain at Orient having become a vicar. What I don’t get is why more players don’t go on to become referees, although I think that will start to happen in time. Just imagine if Robbie Savage became a referee. Now that would bring a whole new meaning to abuse.

But while many want to stay involved with football, some players want a complete change. Property is a big one. It’s a national obsession here anyway but players have to move around a lot so they get to know the process. I know Carlton Palmer has set up some kind of online estate agency, while Robbie Fowler – who was sensible enough to get his act together while he was still playing – owns most of the North West, hence one of my favourite terrace anthems, “We all live in a Robbie Fowler house” to the tune of Yellow Submarine.

The whole process of transition to life after football is something the Professional Footballers’ Association takes very seriously, which is why it sets up workshops with businesses. The idea is to show players what else they can do, while letting companies know that they can actually use a lot of the qualities that an ex-pro would bring with him – teamwork, determination, professionalism, wearing dodgy suits, spitting, sulking, faking injuries, etc. And everyone wants to hear the old stories, so if you have an ex-player working on the books, you would have no trouble getting prospective new clients to come in – unless you have just employed Duncan Ferguson.

So what am I going to do? Even though I think about it a lot I don’t seem to get any closer to deciding. The obvious direction is to do my coaching badges. I could always build on the charity and community work I already do and I’ve thought about being a physio, which is why I’ve been studying biology in my spare time. And apparently us Germans are the best in Europe at separating rubbish so there’s always that to fall back on. And I quite fancy being a baker, too.

Who knows, maybe one day I might even end up with my own newspaper column . . .

Life after football: How some players have made ends meet after retiring from playing

Gordon Davies (Fulham, Manchester City, Chelsea): ratcatcher. “Gary Lineker said scoring goals is better than sex,” Davies said. “I don’t agree with that. But it’s a lot better than pest control.”

Leighton James (Burnley, Swansea, Derby): lollipop man. James won the 2007 Rookie Lollipop Man of the Year award but the lack of wages might be an issue for some former players.

Wyn Davies (Newcastle, Bolton, Manchester United): baker. A man after my own heart. Apparently he’s making a lot of dough these days.