Here's a bit about me - I LOVE Little Britain and Only Fools & Horses. Del Boy is a legend. I spend as much time as I can riding around the streets of Fulham on my folding bike. The folding bike should be an Olympic competition by the way - I'm going to win gold in 2012. I'm still trying to get my maths A-Level (third time lucky!) and I'm also Fulham's PFA Representative. Even though I'm German, I promise that I know a few jokes - but being German also means that I worship the Hoff. So much so, in fact, that he has his own section on this website...

I was born in a place called Siegen in Germany on January 21 st 1983. I grew up in a small town called Buerbach - well, it's a village really surrounded by lots of forests. And, yes, I did used to wear lederhosen when I was a kid! In fact the one pair I had got ruined when a Kinder Egg melted in the pocket!

All this nonsense about footballers kicking balls before they could walk certainly didn't apply to me. I was rubbish at football to begin with! I started playing for a local team when I was about six - we used to beat teams about 20-0 all the time, but the coach still wouldn't even give me five minutes at the end of the game!!

We used to play on these sand pitches so I use to spend more of my time building sandcastles than worrying about scoring goals or anything! In fact, the first goal I scored was with my belly - and that was only because I couldn't get out of the way quick enough!

I don't score many goals even now. As it stands, my goal scoring record for Fulham is actually minus one! I scored once at the right end but have two own goals to my name so far. But I have scored in all three competitions, even if some were at the wrong end, so that's something! But I know my goal scoring is going to explode very soon - and once it does, people will start thinking about playing up front instead of as a right back!

I actually started out playing up front - the good kids always get played up there. But as I progressed (or failed to...) I slipped further and further back, so what does that tell you? Luckily I didn't slip as far back as to end up in goal but I wasn't far off it! When I first signed for Arsenal as a 16 year they played me as a centre half - well, they did in one pre-season practice game. And they didn't try it ever again!

I played for Buerbach for about seven years and then moved to a team in the bigger town near by. From there I was playing for the borough, then the county, and then I got the chance to play for a few Bundesliga teams when I was about 15 so I chose Schalke 04. I also got into the German Under 14s around that time, and I've played right the way through to the Under 21s. In fact, I played my very last Under 21 game in the European Championships in Portugal this summer - I'm too old now!